Stone walls do not a prison make

I have a question that has stayed with me for more years than I care to remember. Why is it that whenever a politician, industrialist, film star or some other big wig is taken into custody by the long arm of the law, the arrested individual invariably sports a triumphant smile for the cameras? Not to forget the thumbs up signal for the world to witness and conclude that they are completely innocent, pure as the driven snow. It is as if the alleged criminal has just won the biggest lottery of his life or been declared winner at the general elections from his constituency. In a sense, they are both more-or-less the same thing. By which I mean that politics is a lottery, and by recent accounts, those who run lotteries are inextricably linked with political parties. The only exception to this rule is when the persons or gangs so incarcerated have been accused of committing a ghastly murder or rape, they are all tied together like so many lambs being taken to the abattoir, their faces covered with a black mask – the criminals’ faces I mean, not the lambs’. Which is a big let-down for television viewers, who would love to wallow in their schadenfreude and get a close look at these fiends in human shape.

Part of the reason why many of these alleged criminals display that ‘all is for the best in the best of all possible worlds’ look is sheer bravado, intended solely for the cameras. Then there is what can only be described as the burning martyr syndrome. Playing the victim card. Former President of the United States, Richard Nixon, while deeply embroiled in the Watergate scandal, famously said, ‘I am not a crook.’ Case closed. In the event, the courts opined differently and Tricky Dick had to hightail it out of the White House. The justice system in the United States makes no distinction between the high and mighty and those less privileged. Retribution is swift. Here in India, things take their own, majestic course. As we speak, AAP chief and Delhi Chief Minister Arvind Kejriwal is cooling his heels, along with some of his senior party colleagues in a prison cell, the courts clearly looking askance at his bail application. As this piece goes to press, one of them (not the CM) has just obtained bail.

This has provided a heaven-sent opportunity for the fractured opposition INDI Alliance to apply Fevicol or some other adhesive substance to glue themselves together, albeit temporarily, and vent their spleen against the ruling dispensation. Once the general elections get under way, they can get back to squabbling among themselves. It is noteworthy that the wives of leaders such as Kejriwal and Hemant Soren have been pitchforked into the melee to make emotional appeals to the public, shedding crocodile tears while bemoaning their pitiable plight. It must be hard for prominent politicians’ families to run the household while their husbands are forced to practice yoga in dank cells. One’s heart goes out to them. However, from the point of view of gaining brownie points prior to the elections, it may not be the worst ploy to unleash the victims’ family members to tug at the heartstrings of an impressionable public. Accordingly, the opposition parties got together in the capital and their leaders shook their fists and railed against the government in power.

Rahul Gandhi, in a rare turn of inspiration, likened the government to ‘match fixers.’ He employed the match fixing theme as a telling idiom and warned the public of dire consequences if they were dumb enough to vote the BJP and its allies back to power. The Gandhi scion literally shouted himself hoarse. His voice would have been a non-starter in any singing competition, though he sounded a lot like Louis ‘Satchmo’ Armstrong with a sore throat. Whether Rahul Gandhi can hold a note or not is a moot point. If I were him, I would be more concerned about a few black sheep in his own alliance, as opposed to going baa-baa at the BJP, whose antics he must by now be fully familiar with.

Members of the ruling party, meanwhile, are sitting back and purring contentedly like the proverbial cat that has had its saucerful of milk. They have already decided that their war cry, Ab ki baar, char sau paar is a foregone conclusion. Done and dusted. They may not have heard of the axiom pertaining to the perils of counting one’s chickens before they are hatched, but they would do well to pay heed. Hubris is a dangerous affliction and some of their recent actions may come back to haunt them. The awkward question as to why only opposition party members are routinely rounded up on some allegation or the other, and none from the ruling classes sticks out like a sore thumb. The standard response is that if you find any misdeed with any of their members, file a complaint with the police. Hmmm.

The opposition parties keep coming up with the ‘washing machine’ analogy. The theory being that if you have had a shady past, all you have to do is ditch your party and join the treasury benches. Just say the word and all your past sins will vanish in a trice. Spotlessly white. You don’t even need Surf Excel. The ruling party’s rejoinder is that the opposition can always approach the courts for redress. Thus far the courts have taken a leaf out of Queen Victoria’s line, ‘We are not amused.’ One thing we know for sure. The rival political spokespersons can go hammer and tongs at each other, but no one will dare speak pejoratively of the judiciary, if they know which side their bread is buttered on. ED, IT, CBI, CEC – all fair game to aim pot shots at, but not a whimper against the judges. Rahul Gandhi has just said the country ‘will be on fire’ if the BJP is returned to power. To which the PM has riposted by asking Indians to wipe out the Congress from every nook and cranny of the country. Let battle be truly joined.

 And to those who are chalk-marking their days in incarceration, they can take solace from the poet’s lines, ‘Stone walls do not a prison make, nor iron bars a cage.’ While you are at it, mind that triumphant smile does not turn into a frozen rictus.