War Games

We didn’t start the fire / No, we didn’t light it / But we tried to fight it. Billy Joel.

In case you have not noticed, there’s a serious combat in progress on our borders. Only we cannot actually call it a war unless certain provisions of the Geneva Conventions are met. As I am not familiar with the laws and bye-laws of the Geneva Conventions, I am not at liberty to use the W word. At least, not in this specific context. Which is a crying shame. There are drones flying around, anti-defence missiles effectively scuppering any destructive aims those enemy drones might be harbouring (not that they are aiming very well), enemy planes are being shot down (we’ll take their word for it), pilots captured, ports and terrorist camps being destroyed. Not to mention, the N word being mentioned in hushed whispers. All present and correct, but this is not a war (there, I have gone and said it). Not yet, anyway. You could have fooled me. If matters proceed on present lines, we might very well be told that ‘war has been declared.’

On careful observation and constant repetition by the powers-that-be, it has been borne in upon me that our country is only retaliating to an initial act of barbarism by our unfriendly neighbours. To stay with the official argot, we are not taking any ‘escalatory steps on the escalatory ladder’ to further exacerbate the situation. In this game of snakes and ladders, we know who the snake is. We are only reacting to provocation. We ask biblically, ‘Who threw the first stone?’ We will never do that, perish the thought, but if the enemy persists in exporting terror across our borders and resorts to unprovoked shelling of our sacred land, taking innocent lives based entirely on their religious persuasion, then retribution will be swift and unmerciful. It’s strictly tit for tat. We did not start this, but by God, we will end it. Sooner than later. God knows, they’ve had it coming to them. That is the official line. It is quite amusing how many times we invoke the Almighty’s name before proceeding to wreak havoc and mayhem.

‘Cry havoc! And let slip the dogs of war,’ cried Julius Caesar (as imagined by Shakespeare) in a fit of anger, and he knew a thing or two about wars. And fits. The Roman emperor was given to periodic bouts of ‘the falling sickness’ as they called it, which partly explains his tendency to ride into battle at the least provocation. The present scenario is vastly different. War (the hell with it, I am done with anodyne synonyms) is in the air. Quite literally. With all these drones lighting up the night sky, it looks like Deepavali has come early this year. It is not an entirely frivolous or inappropriate parallel as ‘good’ attempts to overcome ‘evil’ in the guise of Lord Rama putting paid to the nefarious designs of the rapacious Ravana. We are also being constantly told by our media experts that our enemy is going ‘off-ramp’ thanks to our ‘measured, calibrated, proportionate response,’ ‘kinetic superiority,’ and the immense pressure being ‘ratcheted up’ by our defence forces. Not to forget, we have ‘boots on the ground.’ Plenty of them. If all this was not enough, ‘red lines’ have been drawn. What a lot of new terms we are adding to enrich our vocabulary, thanks to this conflict. I could have added collateral damage, but that expression is now old hat and not deserving of being placed in quotes.

The coinage ‘Operation Sindoor’ deserves special mention and a paragraph all to itself. Everyone by now knows its emotive significance after the Pahalgam massacre so I shan’t elaborate. It was a master stroke. Suffice it to say in the heady world of brand marketing, few could have bettered ‘Operation Sindoor’ to get the nation charged up. Some say the PM had a hand in it, which is entirely within the realms of possibility given his penchant for snappy slogans and an acute understanding of what will go straight to the hearts of all Indians. As a former advertising professional, I can only say that the late, lamented Alyque Padamsee would have been immensely proud had he thought of ‘Operation Sindoor.’

There is little doubt that our country’s leadership and armed forces are doing a grand job keeping our borders safe and putting the Hun to the sword. Or to the S-400. And the Akash Teer, which has set the cat among the pigeons. There will of course be, inevitably, claims and counter claims by both sides of the conflict, but we will swear undying loyalty to our brave warriors and their version of events is more than good enough for us. We eagerly await some fiery, rousing war time speeches from our Prime Minister, who is a past master at this sort of thing. If for nothing else, just to know what on earth is going on. Thus far, he has maintained a stoic silence but I am sure he is just keeping his powder dry. His speech writers must be at it, burning the midnight oil. Those more cynically inclined will say that he is waiting for a state election campaign to extract full mileage from the situation. Timing is all. Nothing like a war to get everybody’s blood up.

Winston Churchill is not a favourite amongst Indians, and for good reason, at least among that generation of Indians that remembers him. However, you cannot deny that his war time speeches had the Brits and their allies lapping it all up, pumped up and ready to bring Hitler to his knees. ‘We shall fight in France, we shall fight on the seas and oceans, we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall never surrender.’ Striking a slightly more ironic note, the then Prime Minister of the UK had this to say, referencing enemy sources, ‘In three weeks, England’s neck will be wrung like a chicken. Some chicken (long pause), some neck.’ His audience, hanging on his every word, collapsed in patriotic mirth. Widely regarded as a man with the ‘bulldog spirit,’ Churchill was not entirely without a sense of biting sarcasm. Lady Astor, who was the first British woman to be seated in Parliament was clearly not a fan of Churchill. She is reported to have said to him. ‘If I were married to you, I’d put poison in your coffee.’ Churchill’s response was swift, ‘If I were married to you, I’d drink it.’

Our Prime Minister Modi’s eloquence in Hindi (and probably Gujarati) is legendary. And if the mood takes him, he can throw in the odd quote in Tamil and Bengali. Let us not cavil about the pronunciation. The attempt is laudable. His present silence on India’s conflict with our neighbour, while somewhat puzzling, is hopefully calculated and strategic. He could be biding his time and once the opportune moment arrives, there will be no stopping him. He will show Churchill a clean pair of heels. One can but wait with bated breath. If one person from the Indian political spectrum has spoken with great conviction and articulation it is, ironically, the opposition’s Congress MP Shashi Tharoor, who has put forward India’s stand on this imbroglio to the world at large with great clarity and fluency. Which is hardly surprising given his wide experience in international affairs and his storied oratorical skills. His party colleagues might be shifting uneasily in their seats but that is their problem.

The problem with the present fracas between us two neighbours is that no one seems to be quite sure what we are up to. Just when things appeared to be well and truly on the boil, the nation was told that a ceasefire has been announced. Donald Trump, as is his wont, wasted no time in taking credit for this apparent cessation of hostilities, rushing in where angels fear to tread. The word ceasefire, however, was never uttered by the official government channels of communication. There were many ifs and buts associated with this surprisingly sudden development. And even as many people heaved a huge sigh of relief and many others expressed anger that we had the tools and did not finish the job (to paraphrase Churchill), the enemy started sending out drones once again. Some said this was due to a confusion in the enemy camp, that the ‘ceasefire’ instructions had not reached their front lines. Others were of the view that the defence forces of Pakistan were in no mood to listen to their political bosses. Naturally, there was much confusion all round and even as this piece goes to press, no one is clear as to where anyone stands. Donald Trump ought to be red-faced but he is not one to be perturbed by such minor setbacks. If indeed we do have a setback.

This is a continuing story. It will only end when it will end if it will end. Meanwhile we wait for our beloved Prime Minister to step up to the plate, clear his throat and give our boys and girls (bravo Sofia, Vyomika and your ilk) a rousing pat on the back. And give our enemies a right royal dressing down. We are waiting.

Postscript: We were just treated to an outstanding presser from the three arms of our defence divisions – Army, Navy and Air Force. They explained the current situation in great detail, took questions from the media and responded with thoughtful and comprehensive answers. As Indians, one can feel proud that we are in the capable hands of such intelligence and competence. After witnessing this press meet, I am convinced the PM was probably right in staying in the background. At least for now.